Wednesday, October 5, 2011

OktoBEERfest, get it?

Basketball is basketball; I have always been a believer in this. Sure some people suck at it more than others, but the principles at any level are relatively the same. I found this to be true overseas as well. Disregarding a couple minute amendments to the rules, the game here is the same. So here is my question: it’s still bad for a team to score only 4 points in one quarter in America, right? Cause when we did that here this weekend it felt pretty awwwwwwful, and I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t missing something. Like, I dunno, is that what all the cool kids are doing back home? We spotted a team, a good team, 20 points…IN THE FIRST QUARTER. I know what you are thinking—nope, I’m not kidding, as funny as that would be, and it actually was not the game plan. I probably don’t need to tell you this, but in case you are one of those “it ain’t over till the fat lady sings” kind of fan, we lost. Her fat butt started singing from the jump.

This may be hard to believe, but I have been embarrassed a lot in my lifetime. But that game ranks up there. We missed nearly every shot, I air balled twice… a blind person would have fit in well with our team Saturday. Seriously, maybe their other heightened senses could’ve helped locate the rim, hell I would have settled for the backboard. Our miserable performance Saturday prompted an inordinate amount of meetings the following days. Alls I gots to say is, if after watching even 5 minutes of that game you need to ask why we lost, mayyyyybe you shouldn’t be involved in basketball…or sports…or anything that involves thinking or basic deduction. Just sayin.

So what do you do when you have a game that appalling, that humiliating? Why you go to Oktoberfest and get drunk. Kiiiiidddddding, c’mon Mom, you know my favorite tacky credo is “hugs not drugs”, or alcohol—it’s all the same. However, while I did not get drunk, I did mosey on over to the fest that is Oktober. Sorta what you’d expect: lots of mature, exceedingly classy adults congregating mutually to rejoice in the centuries old tradition in Munich over conversation and an alcoholic beverage. Hogwash. Like I’d drive 3 hours for that baloney? Not in this lifetime. There were bloody noses, puking novices and the longest bathroom lines you will ever see. It was glorious. Let’s not jump ahead though.

The key to any successful road trip is two fold: snacks and tunes. Both must be equally versatile. You can’t just have junk food and soda, no, no, that’s all wrong. Aside from the sugar high and subsequent inevitable crash, junk food will just as quickly lead to gassy, upset stomachs. I keeps it real people, and you know I’m right. So to avoid what could only be an awkward and uncomfortable car ride, I recommend some healthy alternatives too. Perhaps sandwiches, trail mix or some fruit. Some. Likewise, the tunes need to incorporate a diverse assortment. It can’t all be Britney Spears. Trust me, we are the better for it. I drove to Munich with two teammates, so we each made a distinct playlist and put them to CDs. And we each brought different foods. This genius idea of mine worked out beautifully. Take note. 

By the time we arrived in Munich Sunday, it was a little after noon. Fully clad in our traditional Dirndls, we couldn’t have been more ready. First order of business for me: food. I wanted some legit Bavarian food. I could barely pronounce what it was that I ate, so I won’t pretend to know how to spell it,
but it was delicious. There was meat and there was bread and there was a sauce of sorts. Novel combination. Next, we needed to find a “Biergarten” so we could sit and have a drink. The first tent was unbelievably crowded. I felt like I was in the middle of a college student section that just stormed the field after a win, except I missed the game and I wasn’t a fan, so I was just confused and overwhelmed. We left. Our second try turned out to be lucky. We found a table where 6 people were sitting comfortably, which believe me stands out like a sore thumb here, so we asked if they’d mind squeezing in awkwardly for 4 strangers (Sid's uncle came with us). Here in lies the beauty of alcohol—they were inexplicably happy to do so. Boom. I couldn’t understand how they could possibly be as intoxicated as they clearly were, it was only noon after all. Before I could finish introducing myself though, a waitress placed a glass of beer in front of me. Oh. Now I get it. This was no ordinary glass of beer. This was more like a jug, or a barrel really. While estimating how many hours it might take me to finish mine (2, maybe 3 if the bathroom lines are especially long), everyone in the tent stands on their tables and begins to cheer. Well, my mama didn't raise no fool, if everyone is doing something I learned a long time ago to follow. I think they call that character. Anyways, suddenly through the swarm of merriment I saw a 20-something girl take center stage, thrusting a full barrel of beer in the air. 
The mob ate this up. 3-2-1 the girl begins to chug the drink. I considered shouting, “don’t be a hero”, but instead I just watched, genuinely impressed. The glass was easily half her size but she drank every last drop. Grinning ever so proudly, the camel plunged the empty jug into the air and the tent erupted. No standing ovation was ever less deserved. So you drank it all in less than 15 seconds. Oh big whoop. Want something to cheer for? It only took me an hour to finish mine AND that was without a bathroom break. Crazy. 

Anyways, the people that let us join them turned out to be very enjoyable. We spent a couple hours there with them and then shoved our way through the crowds outside again. We had practice the next morning so we couldn’t stay as long as we hoped, but it was still an amazing experience.

There’s a new addition to my family out here, which up till now was only myself. His name is Doobie, like the band not the thing you smoke (again, hugs not drugs) and he is my new hamster. Some of you will remember the 08' debacle with the ferret, but I assure you this time things are different. We get along swimmingly and he is great company. He is also especially photogenic. I think he is just really vain, because every time I bring the camera out suddenly he busts out with his poses. He is very human-like in that way.

  This is his stank face. We are made for each other. 


  1. 1) " inordinate amount of meetings" I can only imagine. Meetings where you get to watch you whiff on video over and over and in slow motion. Painful.

    2) OctoBEERfest. Too much! I think Germany invented the Tuba to cover the sound of men burping. And, I'm no matter how bad your ballgame is going, at least Mom can be proud her little Sami wasn't one of the barfing people.

    2b) I would like one of those pretzels.

    3) Samantha Meissel is cute. :)

    4) I can't believe you took a picture of Doobie while he was on the crapper! No wonder he was making that face!

    Addendum to line item 3: but not as cute as you. haha <3

  2. You are SO lucky you made that addendum! The pretzel was awesome. Yes, the meetings were fairly painful. Doobie was in his house not his potty room :)

  3. Some of us need to be reminded of the '08 ferret debacle.....

    And you really should admit now that you were the girl chugging the beer!:)

  4. Awesome. I went to Leavenworth the same weekend you went to Munich.... I think you one-upped me once again.